{what He’s teaching me about trust.}
According to social media, it’s trendy to have trust issues.
My generation has romanticized independence; not the healthy, balanced, “I-enjoy-my-alone-time” kind, but the toxic, depression-breeding kind, the kind that promotes a hyper-independence that completely shuts you out from the world around you. This kind doesn’t just cut out the “toxic” friends like it claims, but also cuts you off from the positive relationships, ones built with family, real friends, and in some cases a significant other. This idea that we don’t need anyone except ourselves is marketed every single day, especially to young females. We’re being targeted at an impressionable age and convinced that we don’t need the love of anyone but ourselves. But as much as I love to promote self love and identity on this platform, this is not the kind I wish to be influencing those younger than me with. Because you do need socialization, you do need the capability to trust others, you do need to be able to build meaningful connections with those sharing the planet with you. But even if you take away every single comfortable and healthy relationship we can find with those around us, there’s an even more important relationship that we have to be capable of maintaining: one with our Creator. And this one is being attacked just as much when it comes to the scarily convincing hyper-independent mindset.
Tik Tok is where I’ve come across the relationship-hating media the most. Almost every other video shares themes of self-loathing and the hatred of the people around us. One will be about hating men, because the creator behind it just recently went through a messy breakup. One will be about how there’s not a single person on this planet you can trust, because someone’s high school friend group disbanded yesterday and Tik Tok was their outlet to vent about the situation – it just happened to go viral. Some creators are even going as far as making videos to cause anxiety in their audience – saying things like “This is your sign that your friend is lying to you.” “The person with this initial is hiding something.” These videos have caused anxiety for myself, a naturally anxious eighteen year old; the effects are worse in the younger crowd that we’re sharing the platform with. The internet is a clear cry out for help; everyone is hurting, and because they don’t know how to heal correctly, they’re dragging the rest of the world down with them.
But promoting more of the loneliness that is causing your pain doesn’t fix it; though the saying is misery loves company, it is not the kind of life motto we should be looking for. It’s natural to go through small heartbreaks, or even big ones, through our younger years. It’s normal, and inevitable. But the bounce back from these emotional traumas is what’s most important, and what my age group is lacking right now. I have found myself hesitant to reach out to others because of my own distrust; and in many of these cases, the distrust for these people was not rightfully earned. Pain caused by someone of your past can’t be made right by punishing yourself and those around you. It’s hard to trust again, when you’ve been hurt or lied to in the past. But the process is rewarding, one of learning how to properly love and form connections again. Whether this be with friends, potential love interests, even family members, it’s important to remember that not everyone has hurt you or has ill intentions, and for the ones who have, forgiveness is a great place to start.
Now I know; it is super easy for me to get on this platform and preach a message of trust. But it’s a lot harder than that; when you let someone in, you’re essentially handing them your heart and trusting them not to shatter it. It’s a lot of responsibility to place in the hands of others. But luckily for us, we have a perfect Creator. One that loves us unconditionally, even though we don’t deserve it. A perfect God that will never hurt us, lie to us, or damage our trust. He is a great place to start, and a great savior to turn to in our journey to learning to trust again. In the beginning of my personal journey with this very problem, I almost didn’t want to “burden” God with my own problems. With my own weaknesses, failures, shortcomings. With the moments that I know I could’ve done something better, in my petty moments, the low ones where I hurt someone purposefully because they hurt me. In the moments after that where I justified my actions, because it was all coming from a place of hurt. But it’s never a burden. We were created by a Father who loves us, who adores when His children run to Him with their problems. That’s all He asks us to do, and that’s why I’m starting with my trust for Him.
It’s difficult to throw yourself back into a world that hurt you. For me specifically, I’ve experienced a lot of heartbreak from those that I considered some of my closest friends through the last few years of my life. There are very few people I can even open myself up to talking to currently, because I’m terrified of trusting someone who will betray me again, and hurt me. But this is why we have to turn to the Creator. He will help us find that childlike trust we once had, that childlike joy that overwhelmed us when we made a new friendship, when we found someone that we shared interests with. So for me, He is where I am going to start healing. He is the safe space where I am going to learn to trust again. And I encourage everyone reading this to do the same. We’re experiencing an attack on our generation, one that doesn’t want us to come out stronger and happier. But we are going to overcome that, breaking down walls that we built up around ourselves. But we’re going to do it together, one day at a time.